In 2010, after giving birth to my son, I fell into a post-natal depression and a burnout. I don’t remember much about this period, and when I look back on it today, I didn’t learn anything out of it at the time either. I just kept repeating the same patterns and ignored the signals my body gave me.
Because 5 years later, in the fall of 2015, having a new job, a new challenge, my energy had run out again. My batteries had gone completely dead. Burnout 2.0 was the verdict
So how could it have come to this? Had I really not seen this coming? I had already experienced a burnout. How come I’m having a second one now?! Is this really possible?
I wanted to combine everything. A job, and preferably one with some prestige, so that you meant something within a company. Because yes, for us women it is not always easy, we have to give that little bit more to get there. So we take that extra project on board.
No knowledge of the subject? No problem, we’ll figure it out along the way. Giving up was not in my vocabulary, I just keep going until the bitter end.
And this in combination with raising a family. Plus wanting to do it all perfectly. Craft activities with my son and his friends, games, excursions, I wanted it all. Delicious and varied cooking, every day. A clean and tidy house. I wanted to be the friend, the listening ear, I bended over backwards to be there for everyone. Because that’s what you do, right? An overflowing social agenda, because you don’t want to miss out on anything, do you?
Sure, I suffered from low back pain and experienced tension in my neck. Then, before our fall vacation, I was having a lot of pain in my left arm. I could barely drive the car. I thought, a couple of sessions at the physiotherapist and then I’ ll be rid of it. Besides, we were going on a week’s vacation anyway, so this would solve all my problems.
As if … There I am on the last day with our friends, fantastic location, good food, great week behind us and still I’m not feeling well, I am exhausted. I had pushed it too far. Overload was the verdict. Take a few weeks to recharge, said my doctor. Sleep, take some rest, that’s what my surrounding told me. And a few weeks, became months and finally a year.
